Simple Review: Is it bad to route for the zombies at this point?
Here we are my fellow film fanatics, another sequel from the artistic chop shop we call Hollywood. The unique instance we find ourselves in with Zombieland 2: Double Tap is that this particular sequel is for a movie that came out ten years ago which does make it unusual as most studios pump out sequels fast and cheap to get your hard-earned money. So, you may be asking, did the filmmakers use the ten-year hiatus to craft a sequel worthy of being compared to Godfather 2, The Empire Strikes Back and Bill and Teds Bogus Journey? (yep you read that right and it IS in the top three all-time!) Let’s limber up, work on our cardio and see if Zombieland 2 has enough brains to keep these hungry zombies satisfied.
Usually, I open these reviews with some sort of clever and witty paragraph to set the tone for my oncoming rant about whatever the movie of the week is for that review. Unfortunately, after starting this adventure about a year and a half ago I am finding that Hollywood is slowly draining my love for movies with the amount of average to below-average films they keep throwing at us. With that said I am going to just get right to the review and maybe throw in a little rant at the end to keep you entertained because that is why I started all of this so I can bring a smile to your face, you sexy thing you!
Zombieland 2: Double Tap picks up ten years after the original film and we quickly catch up with our heroes Ohio, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock, who are now taking up residence in the White House. After a little domestic squabble, Little Rock runs away and the adventure begins as the rest of the dysfunctional family tries to find her. Along the way, new characters are introduced and more evolved zombies track our ragtag group hoping to knaw on their bones. All of this leads to an uninspired sequel that is neither terrible nor is it as much fun as the original we all enjoyed a decade ago. I admit I wasn’t expecting this movie to live up to the original but I walked away disappointed with how mediocre it was.
That’s not to say it is a terrible movie as the original cast is consistently good in their respective roles and they keep the movie from sliding into the abyss of terrible sequels out there. Of the new additions to the cast, which I will discuss more later, Rosario Dawson is the best new character simply because I think she is great in just about everything she is in. There is some nice gore and one of the best scares I have had in a while at the very start of the film. The movie has plenty of humor, of course, and is entertaining enough to keep you munching on your popcorn.
Where Zombieland 2 fails is that it never steps beyond average seemingly content to be just OK. The aforementioned evolved zombies are introduced early in the film as a new threat but ultimately they never feel like a serious threat and our heroes outsmart them and simply need to shoot them more times to stop them. As many times as they are confronted, I never felt any tension in the attack scenes and after a while, they became somewhat boring because of this. With the new characters, they are mostly one-note and annoying. Madison is introduced early in the movie and she is meant to be annoying and she succeeds to an epic level. It starts out funny but eventually, that is all she is and her character grows stale quickly. The same can be said of Berkeley, Little Rock’s “love interest” that, again, never grows as a character. In fact, at the end of the film, every character is basically the same as they were at the start of the film. There is a slight bump of interest as Ohio and Tallahassee meet their doppelgangers, but even that grows old and you can see where things are headed with this encounter.
I am always honest with you my reliable reader and as such, I have to admit I am growing bored with writing the review for Zombieland 2. Ultimately this is just an average movie that falls into the needless sequel category. This is a good movie to watch at home in whatever form of movie watching you do in your humble abode. In fact, you should watch this with your special someone snuggled on the couch in the comfort of your home on a rainy day and if you two should begin to get frisky with each other you can miss parts of the movie and not feel bad. See, not only did I save you from having to fight traffic, spend money on tickets and popcorn and sit with annoying people in a theater, I also got you some sweet, sweet lovin’. No need to thank me, it’s what I do for y’all.
Since I love being honest with you, allow me to rant about my being forced to watch this particular film. This was not my first choice of movies that I wanted to see this week, nor was it my second choice. I was looking forward to seeing either JoJo Rabbit or The Lighthouse, but unfortunately, of the fifty movie screens playing movies within twenty minutes from my fortress of solitude not one of them was showing either film. I understand I do not live in the most open-minded part of these United States and the films I mentioned are smaller movies but one would think that with that many screens to show a movie on I could catch a break! I will never understand who decides to put what movie on what screen but this is happening more and more lately. It is frustrating as a film lover to not get to watch different types of movies as the gluttony of “meh” movies seem to be occupying every screen.
To wrap up this nonsense, wait to see Zombieland 2 at home and save yourself some cash, and for the love of the movie gods, let’s get some more options in our local cinemas!!
I hope you enjoyed this silliness and please like and follow!
As always, thanks for your time!
The Movie Psycho