Movie Review: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Simple Review: I’ve got a bad feeling about this

Well, my fellow film fanatics, we have done it: we have reached the “end” of the space saga that blasted its way onto movie screens and into pop culture way back in 1977. Star Wars started my love of movies all those years ago and cursed me with a lifetime supply of useless knowledge about Jedi Knights, YT-1300 Corellian freighters and armor-clad Mandalorians ( yes I knew about them waaaaay before it was cool!). When Return of the Jedi ended in 1983 I thought my time in a galaxy far, far away was over, only to be visited again in novels and comic books, but then George Lucas decided we needed a prequel trilogy and once again we were transported back but it just wasn’t the same. After Disney bought the rights to Star Wars, we had the excitement of a new sequel trilogy that would bring back our beloved heroes and introduce us to their young replacements. What has followed has been an uneven journey back to the land of Wookies, droids, and stormtroopers all leading to the final battle of good and evil in The Rise of Skywalker. I know the question you all have for me, “Is it any good, Movie Psycho?” The only way to find out is to dive headlong into this trash compactor of a review with me and hope we get through this before the walls close in on us. Continue reading “Movie Review: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker”

Movie Review: Jumanji: The Next Level

Simple Review: Game over, man, game over!

Greetings my fellow film fanatics! I know it has been a minute since I last graced your friendly internet neighborhood with another indelible movie review and for that, I offer my sincerest apology. Unfortunately, I have been battling a two-headed demon of procrastination and an existential crisis over the last few weeks which has made my trusty laptop a point of angst and consternation. For you, my reliable reader, I have faced this demon and once more unto the breach of this movie review blog shall I travel. Follow me as we return to the world of Jumanji with this sequel to the 2017 surprise hit of the similar name to see if it is as much fun as it’s predecessor or if your mom was right when she said video games will rot your brain! Continue reading “Movie Review: Jumanji: The Next Level”

Movie Review: Doctor Sleep

Simple Review: Here’s Danny!

Have you ever heard the phrase, ” Everything old is new again”? Well, that seems to be the overriding strategy of our beloved Hollywood geniuses as of late. Every time you head to your local movie playing establishment you inevitably see a preview or poster of some beloved childhood memory being rebooted or having some weird sequel that ignores half of a film franchise. One of the few films that I thought would ever be revisited was The Shinning, a film that scared the young Movie Psycho half to death, and yet a sequel novel was conjured up by everyone’s favorite horror novelist Stephen King so naturally, a film has soon followed.  Since all work and no play makes The Movie Psycho something, something let’s grab our trusty ax and break down this review of the sequel no one knew they needed, Doctor Sleep.  Continue reading “Movie Review: Doctor Sleep”

Movie Review: Zombieland 2: Double Tap

Simple Review: Is it bad to route for the zombies at this point?

Here we are my fellow film fanatics, another sequel from the artistic chop shop we call Hollywood. The unique instance we find ourselves in with Zombieland 2: Double Tap is that this particular sequel is for a movie that came out ten years ago which does make it unusual as most studios pump out sequels fast and cheap to get your hard-earned money. So, you may be asking, did the filmmakers use the ten-year hiatus to craft a sequel worthy of being compared to Godfather 2The Empire Strikes Back and Bill and Teds Bogus Journey? (yep you read that right and it IS in the top three all-time!) Let’s limber up, work on our cardio and see if Zombieland 2 has enough brains to keep these hungry zombies satisfied.  Continue reading “Movie Review: Zombieland 2: Double Tap”

Movie Review: Joker

Simple Review: Why so serious?

It hasn’t been a good couple of months for your friendly neighborhood clown. First, he or she has had to deal with that storm drain dwelling Pennywise and now The Joker arrives in cinemas to make clowns the last thing any kid wants to see at their birthday party! It has gotten so bad I saw a clown today in his van trying to give away free candy, the poor fellow. The demise of your local jester, however, has benefited many a filmgoer and, after all, isn’t that what is important nowadays? So let’s turn our attention to the clown prince of crime to see what controversy he has unleashed on the innocent public. Throw on your cowl and cape and let’s track down that green-haired psychopath and ask him, ” What’s with that stupid grin?”

Continue reading “Movie Review: Joker”

Movie Review: It Chapter Two

Simple Review: IT is 2 damn long! (“that’s what she said”-M. Scott)

At this moment in human history, it isn’t difficult to feel sorry for anyone choosing the profession of a grease painted jester. There is a current trend to vilify the once noble clown profession which only wants to provide laughter to the masses. Thanks to John Wayne Gacy, the Joker, and Ronald McDonald the world has become terrified of anyone wearing a clown outfit. Perhaps the one that his done the most to change the love of clowns to absolute fright is none other than Pennywise the clown. Since his debut in the novel “IT” and Tim Curry’s sinister portrayal of the character in the miniseries of the same name, Pennywise has made us all leery of clowns. In 2017 Bill Skarsgärd reintroduced the world to this fiendish clown and made us all run from clowns faster than I run from broccoli. Two years later he has returned to Derry, Maine, and our local cinema to bring more crazy clown carnage (that’s alliteration kiddos) to our lives. Let’s turn on the water and see what floats in this review of It Chapter Two unless your name is Georgie, then you might want to float your boat somewhere else! Continue reading “Movie Review: It Chapter Two”

Movie Review: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Simple Review: Go, Go Godzilla!

Isn’t it amazing that a movie made in 1954 staring a guy in a rubber suit stomping on a city model could have lead to a 35 film franchise that made a household name out of a giant, radioactive lizard? Yet, here we are in 2019 and movie-going audiences are still craving more kaiju mayhem. Enter Godzilla: King of the Monsters which brings back our friendly neighborhood prehistoric reptile with a few cuddly friends, and some not so cuddly. This follow up to the appropriately named 2014 film, Godzilla, looks to amp up the monster action by throwing as many gargantuan creatures at our hero as can be fit into a two-hour flick. Does Godzilla: King of the Monsters crush all that stand in its way or does it make you yearn for the days of Mathew Broderick and French commandos? Well, grab your loved ones and run as fast as you can before I drop my big ole foot on this movie review! Continue reading “Movie Review: Godzilla: King of the Monsters”

Movie Review: Shazam!

Simple Review: Big time superhero! ( ain’t I clever?)

I don’t know who is in charge over at DC but I have to tip my cap to them. The DC movie universe seemed to be on the verge on imploding after the release of Justice League and all of the controversy that surrounded it. It had appeared that Marvel was the big brother that could do no wrong while DC was the little brother that disappointed mom and dad with all that movie review blog nonsense. Much like that scrappy little bro blogger, DC threw caution to the wind and gave us a movie about a superhero Fishman and another about a kid turning into a superhero by quoting Gomer Pyle. While I wasn’t a big fan of Aquaman I can’t argue with its big screen success so I took a chance with the newest DC movie, Shazam! and I can hear you through the internet waves asking ” Did Shazam! keep DC’s winning streak going or did it electrocute any chance DC has of catching Marvel?” Well, drop a quarter in the Zoltar machine and your wish will be granted with another review even Tom Hanks would endorse.  Continue reading “Movie Review: Shazam!”

Movie Review: Captain Marvel

Simple Review: Everyone relax, it’s just a movie!

I don’t know if I have ever been so scared to have an opinion of a movie in my life! I believe that there is a team of internet assassins quietly waiting in the shadows to eviscerate my cyberspace persona whatever my opinion of Captain Marvel is. It is as if the fate of the world rests on the shoulders of a superhero movie aimed at selling toys to kids. What the hell has happened to us that we have put this much pressure on a movie to provide some sort of social justice to our lives? I mean, this is a movie about aliens fighting a woman that shoots lasers out of her hands so maybe we could take it down a notch. Never the less, I shall risk life and limb to provide you THE best review of Captain Marvel on the entire world wide web or your money back. So, let’s suit up, jump on a Quinjet and save the planet….again. We can do this all day! Continue reading “Movie Review: Captain Marvel”

Movie Review: Happy Death Day 2U

Simple Review: A pleasant surprise party

Sometimes a movie comes along that is like eating at your favorite fast food restaurant, you know it isn’t five-star cuisine but it makes your tummy happy while you eat it. Happy Death Day was such a movie for me. I went into it with doubt it would be good, but curious about what they would do with the premise and much to my surprise I had a good time watching it. Sure the movie was far from perfect but it had an excellent lead acting performance and the filmmakers had fun with the Groundhog Day meets a horror movie plot. When the sequel was announced I rolled my eyes at what seemed to be a quick cash grab, but I admit I was curious to see what they could possibly do to follow up the first film. Does Happy Death Day 2U deliver a worthy continuation of the story or does it ruin the party by binge drinking and throwing up birthday cake on your new couch? Grab your last minute present, light them candles and let’s try to throw a big ole surprise party for this silly review! Continue reading “Movie Review: Happy Death Day 2U”