Movie Review: Brightburn

Simple Review- Kal Ev-El

Sometimes a movie comes along with such a simple concept that one has to wonder why no one thought of it before. A cop gets trapped in a high rise building by terrorists in L.A., boom you get Diehard. Super tough commandos get hunted by an unstoppable alien, boom you get Predator. A man enters other peoples dreams to implant an idea to help out super rich corporations while trying to avoid his wife, although she isn’t really his wife but an incarnation from his subconscious that interferes with a heist set in another person dream while they go further into what may or may not be reality…ok that one might not be so simple. ( Inception by the way, but you knew that) Enter Brightburn a film that answers the question: What if Clark Kent chose the dark side? Pretty simple idea, right? Did the film answer that question? Well, grab your Kryptonite and meet me at the Fortress of Solitude to hit this unstoppable force of a movie with the immovable object that is this review. Continue reading “Movie Review: Brightburn”

Movie Review: Us

Simple Review: “Scare” Jordan!!

Have you ever been told that someone saw your twin on the other side of town, but you don’t have a twin? Normally you would tell a lame joke about it and laugh it off but after watching Us you might want to get out of town quick, fast and in a hurry. Jordan Peele brings a new mind-bending journey into the horror realm with his evil doppelgänger film and I recommend wearing an adult diaper because leaving your seat during this movie is unacceptable. Thank the maker for Jordan stepping into the horror genre to bring more than jump scares and mindless clichés and delivering films that you actually have to use your brain a bit to enjoy. I am well aware that you have figured out my opinion of Us, but let’s throw a bucket of fishheads into the attic for Hugo Simpson and split the zygote of this review and see which twin is evil and which one is good! Continue reading “Movie Review: Us”

Movie Review: Greta

Simple Review: Friends until the end…of your LIFE!

For some of you super cool cats out there making new friends is effortless, for others of us climbing Mt. Everest would be an easier task than finding companionship. It is strange that we live in a world where we are all constantly connected to our internet social networks yet our list of actual, physical relationships grows smaller and smaller, especially if you are a natural introvert. In order to find a few friends out of the seven billion people on this blue and green ball floating through the universe, sometimes you have to try new ways to meet people. You could join a club, take dance lessons, try a cooking class or, let’s say, leave a bag on the subway with your information in it in hopes a good citizen will return it to you. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. This week Hollywood delivers the touching story of a woman trying to find someone to connect with in this crazy, crazy world with the release of Greta. Does Greta have the right personality to become our B.F.F. or is she destined to become our frenemy? There is only one way to find out my friends, so read on or in the box you go. Continue reading “Movie Review: Greta”

Netflix Review: He’s Out There

Simple Review: And he brought a bad script with him!

What would my life be like without Netflix? Instead of doing something as productive as starting a new hobby like knitting with dog hair, reading a classic work of literature such as Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets or silently weeping as I ponder on the loneliness of my life, I scroll through the endless list of movies that my friend Netflix has to offer. Sometimes Netflix delivers a quality piece of entertainment that leaves me satisfied with my choice. Most of the time, however, Netflix only serves to make me regret wasting what little time I have left on this blue rock floating through the cosmos. This review will center on a horror movie I discovered after 90 minutes of scrolling through choices, called He’s Out There. This isn’t a Netflix original, but it was on my favorite streaming service, so don’t get all technical with me about calling this a Netflix review. Remember how much you paid me for this review! Continue reading “Netflix Review: He’s Out There”

Movie Review: Happy Death Day 2U

Simple Review: A pleasant surprise party

Sometimes a movie comes along that is like eating at your favorite fast food restaurant, you know it isn’t five-star cuisine but it makes your tummy happy while you eat it. Happy Death Day was such a movie for me. I went into it with doubt it would be good, but curious about what they would do with the premise and much to my surprise I had a good time watching it. Sure the movie was far from perfect but it had an excellent lead acting performance and the filmmakers had fun with the Groundhog Day meets a horror movie plot. When the sequel was announced I rolled my eyes at what seemed to be a quick cash grab, but I admit I was curious to see what they could possibly do to follow up the first film. Does Happy Death Day 2U deliver a worthy continuation of the story or does it ruin the party by binge drinking and throwing up birthday cake on your new couch? Grab your last minute present, light them candles and let’s try to throw a big ole surprise party for this silly review! Continue reading “Movie Review: Happy Death Day 2U”

Movie Review: The Prodigy

Simple Review: Not very smart!

Being a parent is a frightening venture that will test any persons confidence and reveal a new level of anxiety. From worrying about your child’s health, safety, choice of friends to keeping him or her as far from the internet as possible, parents can be in what feels like a 24-hour horror movie. Oh sure, kids are a blessing and I wouldn’t trade mine for anything in the world, except maybe Scarlette Johansson’s phone number ( just kidding), it is a challenge to enter into child rearing. If it wasn’t scary enough, imagine if your kid was part young Sheldon and part Hannibal Lector! Needless to say, your kid wouldn’t be getting too many invites to parties at Chuck E Cheese. Following this line of thought comes the new horror movie, The Prodigy, a film dealing with such a “gifted” child and the chaos that follows in his wake. Does The Prodigy deliver a beautiful bundle of joy, or is it the equivalent of your friends ugly baby that you lie and tell its parents it is adorable? ( It’s ok we’ve all done it)  Continue reading “Movie Review: The Prodigy”

Movie Review: The Possession of Hannah Grace

Simple Review: D.O.A

Among the memorable moments of the year of our Lord 1973, two events stand out in the film world: The Exorcist was released and a certain brilliant movie blogger was born. Due to the success of the former, we have seen a wide array of movies involving supernatural possessions and exorcisms, while the latter has brought joy to tens of people in this world. The Exorcist set the bar so incredibly high in this type of horror genre that very few have even come close to scaring the hell out of us like that flick! This week The Possession of Hannah Grace tries to release its inner demon on us, the unsuspecting audience, in hopes of scaring the split-pea soup out of us. Is the movie a holy terror, or will it make your head spin? The only way to find out is to grab your crucifix and exercise the demons of this review. Continue reading “Movie Review: The Possession of Hannah Grace”