Simple Review: You know what they say about the best-laid plans!
If you are a regular reader of my scintillating cinema reflections then you are well aware of my Netflix fandom. How could anyone not love having endless movie possibilities delivered to your home for the sole purpose of squandering away precious hours of your limited time on this Earth? In the early days of my Netflix addiction, most of the movies were best enjoyed for their low budget cheesiness and guilt-free indulgence of said movies. Then a funny thing happened to my beloved streaming service, they started making high-quality films even producing an Oscar winner much to Steven Spielberg’s chagrin. This week Netflix delivered a promising new entry to their original movie line-up with the heist action movie Triple Frontier and I was eager to check this one out as it has an interesting cast and story. Did Triple Frontier plan the perfect heist and steal a positive review, or did it fail miserably only to end up stuck at home with a court-ordered ankle bracelet? The only way to find out is to grab your assault rifle, sneak through the window and grab the precious treasure that is the review to this movie! ( Phew I had to work hard for that one) Continue reading “Netflix Review: Triple Frontier”
Simple Review: And he brought a bad script with him!
What would my life be like without Netflix? Instead of doing something as productive as starting a new hobby like knitting with dog hair, reading a classic work of literature such as Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets or silently weeping as I ponder on the loneliness of my life, I scroll through the endless list of movies that my friend Netflix has to offer. Sometimes Netflix delivers a quality piece of entertainment that leaves me satisfied with my choice. Most of the time, however, Netflix only serves to make me regret wasting what little time I have left on this blue rock floating through the cosmos. This review will center on a horror movie I discovered after 90 minutes of scrolling through choices, called He’s Out There. This isn’t a Netflix original, but it was on my favorite streaming service, so don’t get all technical with me about calling this a Netflix review. Remember how much you paid me for this review! Continue reading “Netflix Review: He’s Out There”
Simple review: Stark raving Mads
As we trudge through the miserable movie month ( that’s alliteration, kids) of January there is one thing any cinephile should be thankful for, Netflix! While Hollywood has not delivered its best options this month, Netflix has been throwing everything it can at television screens around the world to see if anything sticks. One of the titles that caught my eye, and my excitement, was Polar starring everyone’s favorite Danish badass Mads Mikkelsen. Ever since he first hit my cinematic radar as Le Chiffre in Casino Royale, I have tried my best to watch anything he is in as he is an excellent actor and, frankly, cool as wish I could be! So when Netflix offers up Mads as a retiring assassin looking for vengeance I knew it was a must watch. Did Polar hit its target and entertain me on this cold January night, or did it stink on ice? What’s that? You want me to stop with the cold puns? ” I’m afraid that my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy.” ( Holy bad movie quotes! I used a quote from the worst Batman movie ever!) Continue reading “Netflix Review: Polar”
Simple Review: You’ll wish for the apocalypse
Who knew the end of the world would be such a cornucopia of ideas for movies from our beloved Hollywood? We have witnessed apocalypses at the hands of zombies, Apes with guns, Cyborgs with bigger guns and Austrian accents and Australians in S&M outfits ( frankly, that last one is the scariest!). That is just the tip of the Titanic sinking iceberg (too soon?) and with the current state of the world, it is not surprising this genre is in demand with audiences. Thanks to the gift that keeps on giving, Netflix, I have seen our beloved celestial home on the brink of extinction more times than I can count, as I only have ten fingers and math was never my subject in school. This week I took a chance on another “end of the world” movie, IO, to see if the human race survives yet another threat to our existence. So, did IO gather enough supplies to keep us alive or did those leather-clad Australians run it over in their post-apocalyptic jalopies? The only way to find out is to put on your oxygen mask and follow me into the catastrophic ruins of this review! Continue reading “Netflix Review: IO”
Simple Review: A fun little ditty
It certainly has become an interesting time for Netflix original movies. It wasn’t that long ago that one would avoid anything with the dreaded ” Netflix original” label on it like one avoids off-brand Oreo’s. ( its Oreo’s or its crap!) Those days appear to be long gone with Netflix getting Oscar-winning directors such as Alfonso Cuaròn, Martin Scorsese and Guillermo del Toro to use the streaming service to deliver their newest films. To my excitement, the Coen brothers delivered their special brand of unique filmmaking to Netflix by way of The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, a quirky ride into the Old West. This film will challenge me, not because of the movie mind you, but I just reviewed a Western and I may have used up all of my Westerns puns! Do I shy away from a challenge? Nay, my reliable reader, I rush headlong into this particular challenge. So lets put on our ten-gallon hats, hop on that bucking bronc and chase down the review of Buster Scruggs! Continue reading “Netflix Review: The Ballad of Buster Scruggs”
Simple Review: Worth following to the end
To a horror movie fan, Netflix is the gift that keeps on giving. Now, I am not saying every gift it delivers is precious, some are not even worth re-gifting and most fall somewhere in between. With Apostle, Netflix delivers an ambitious horror movie that takes its time to go for your throat, but when it does it is all kinds of crazy. Does this journey to a terrifying cult deliver much-needed Halloween scares? The only way to find out is to grab a cup of the funny kool-aid and enjoy this zealots review. Continue reading “Netflix Review- Apostle”