Movie Review: Joker

Simple Review: Why so serious?

It hasn’t been a good couple of months for your friendly neighborhood clown. First, he or she has had to deal with that storm drain dwelling Pennywise and now The Joker arrives in cinemas to make clowns the last thing any kid wants to see at their birthday party! It has gotten so bad I saw a clown today in his van trying to give away free candy, the poor fellow. The demise of your local jester, however, has benefited many a filmgoer and, after all, isn’t that what is important nowadays? So let’s turn our attention to the clown prince of crime to see what controversy he has unleashed on the innocent public. Throw on your cowl and cape and let’s track down that green-haired psychopath and ask him, ” What’s with that stupid grin?”

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Movie Review: Brightburn

Simple Review- Kal Ev-El

Sometimes a movie comes along with such a simple concept that one has to wonder why no one thought of it before. A cop gets trapped in a high rise building by terrorists in L.A., boom you get Diehard. Super tough commandos get hunted by an unstoppable alien, boom you get Predator. A man enters other peoples dreams to implant an idea to help out super rich corporations while trying to avoid his wife, although she isn’t really his wife but an incarnation from his subconscious that interferes with a heist set in another person dream while they go further into what may or may not be reality…ok that one might not be so simple. ( Inception by the way, but you knew that) Enter Brightburn a film that answers the question: What if Clark Kent chose the dark side? Pretty simple idea, right? Did the film answer that question? Well, grab your Kryptonite and meet me at the Fortress of Solitude to hit this unstoppable force of a movie with the immovable object that is this review. Continue reading “Movie Review: Brightburn”

Movie Review: Avengers: Endgame

Simple Review: Does it matter? You’re going to see it anyway!

Congratulations my fellow film nerd you have survived the year-long wait to get the answers you have craved about your favorite Marvel Cinematic Univers characters since the shocking end of Avengers: Infinity War. When the year began your biggest question was “How can our heroes save the day?” but as the film has approached your two biggest questions have been ” How can I avoid spoilers?” and ” Can I make it three hours without going to the restroom?” I cannot help you with with the latter but the former is the challenge that I have accepted to help ease any concerns you may have about Avengers: Endgame. So let’s suit up, say something snarky and walk-in cool slow motion toward our review of the most important movie in the HISTORY of the Universe. Continue reading “Movie Review: Avengers: Endgame”

Movie Review: Shazam!

Simple Review: Big time superhero! ( ain’t I clever?)

I don’t know who is in charge over at DC but I have to tip my cap to them. The DC movie universe seemed to be on the verge on imploding after the release of Justice League and all of the controversy that surrounded it. It had appeared that Marvel was the big brother that could do no wrong while DC was the little brother that disappointed mom and dad with all that movie review blog nonsense. Much like that scrappy little bro blogger, DC threw caution to the wind and gave us a movie about a superhero Fishman and another about a kid turning into a superhero by quoting Gomer Pyle. While I wasn’t a big fan of Aquaman I can’t argue with its big screen success so I took a chance with the newest DC movie, Shazam! and I can hear you through the internet waves asking ” Did Shazam! keep DC’s winning streak going or did it electrocute any chance DC has of catching Marvel?” Well, drop a quarter in the Zoltar machine and your wish will be granted with another review even Tom Hanks would endorse.  Continue reading “Movie Review: Shazam!”

Movie Review: Captain Marvel

Simple Review: Everyone relax, it’s just a movie!

I don’t know if I have ever been so scared to have an opinion of a movie in my life! I believe that there is a team of internet assassins quietly waiting in the shadows to eviscerate my cyberspace persona whatever my opinion of Captain Marvel is. It is as if the fate of the world rests on the shoulders of a superhero movie aimed at selling toys to kids. What the hell has happened to us that we have put this much pressure on a movie to provide some sort of social justice to our lives? I mean, this is a movie about aliens fighting a woman that shoots lasers out of her hands so maybe we could take it down a notch. Never the less, I shall risk life and limb to provide you THE best review of Captain Marvel on the entire world wide web or your money back. So, let’s suit up, jump on a Quinjet and save the planet….again. We can do this all day! Continue reading “Movie Review: Captain Marvel”