Movie Review: Shazam!

Simple Review: Big time superhero! ( ain’t I clever?)

I don’t know who is in charge over at DC but I have to tip my cap to them. The DC movie universe seemed to be on the verge on imploding after the release of Justice League and all of the controversy that surrounded it. It had appeared that Marvel was the big brother that could do no wrong while DC was the little brother that disappointed mom and dad with all that movie review blog nonsense. Much like that scrappy little bro blogger, DC threw caution to the wind and gave us a movie about a superhero Fishman and another about a kid turning into a superhero by quoting Gomer Pyle. While I wasn’t a big fan of Aquaman I can’t argue with its big screen success so I took a chance with the newest DC movie, Shazam! and I can hear you through the internet waves asking ” Did Shazam! keep DC’s winning streak going or did it electrocute any chance DC has of catching Marvel?” Well, drop a quarter in the Zoltar machine and your wish will be granted with another review even Tom Hanks would endorse.  Continue reading “Movie Review: Shazam!”

Movie Review: Us

Simple Review: “Scare” Jordan!!

Have you ever been told that someone saw your twin on the other side of town, but you don’t have a twin? Normally you would tell a lame joke about it and laugh it off but after watching Us you might want to get out of town quick, fast and in a hurry. Jordan Peele brings a new mind-bending journey into the horror realm with his evil doppelgänger film and I recommend wearing an adult diaper because leaving your seat during this movie is unacceptable. Thank the maker for Jordan stepping into the horror genre to bring more than jump scares and mindless clichés and delivering films that you actually have to use your brain a bit to enjoy. I am well aware that you have figured out my opinion of Us, but let’s throw a bucket of fishheads into the attic for Hugo Simpson and split the zygote of this review and see which twin is evil and which one is good! Continue reading “Movie Review: Us”

Netflix Review: Triple Frontier

Simple Review: You know what they say about the best-laid plans!

If you are a regular reader of my scintillating cinema reflections then you are well aware of my Netflix fandom. How could anyone not love having endless movie possibilities delivered to your home for the sole purpose of squandering away precious hours of your limited time on this Earth? In the early days of my Netflix addiction, most of the movies were best enjoyed for their low budget cheesiness and guilt-free indulgence of said movies. Then a funny thing happened to my beloved streaming service, they started making high-quality films even producing an Oscar winner much to Steven Spielberg’s chagrin. This week Netflix delivered a promising new entry to their original movie line-up with the heist action movie Triple Frontier and I was eager to check this one out as it has an interesting cast and story. Did Triple Frontier plan the perfect heist and steal a positive review, or did it fail miserably only to end up stuck at home with a court-ordered ankle bracelet? The only way to find out is to grab your assault rifle, sneak through the window and grab the precious treasure that is the review to this movie! ( Phew I had to work hard for that one) Continue reading “Netflix Review: Triple Frontier”

Movie Review: Captain Marvel

Simple Review: Everyone relax, it’s just a movie!

I don’t know if I have ever been so scared to have an opinion of a movie in my life! I believe that there is a team of internet assassins quietly waiting in the shadows to eviscerate my cyberspace persona whatever my opinion of Captain Marvel is. It is as if the fate of the world rests on the shoulders of a superhero movie aimed at selling toys to kids. What the hell has happened to us that we have put this much pressure on a movie to provide some sort of social justice to our lives? I mean, this is a movie about aliens fighting a woman that shoots lasers out of her hands so maybe we could take it down a notch. Never the less, I shall risk life and limb to provide you THE best review of Captain Marvel on the entire world wide web or your money back. So, let’s suit up, jump on a Quinjet and save the planet….again. We can do this all day! Continue reading “Movie Review: Captain Marvel”

Movie Review: Greta

Simple Review: Friends until the end…of your LIFE!

For some of you super cool cats out there making new friends is effortless, for others of us climbing Mt. Everest would be an easier task than finding companionship. It is strange that we live in a world where we are all constantly connected to our internet social networks yet our list of actual, physical relationships grows smaller and smaller, especially if you are a natural introvert. In order to find a few friends out of the seven billion people on this blue and green ball floating through the universe, sometimes you have to try new ways to meet people. You could join a club, take dance lessons, try a cooking class or, let’s say, leave a bag on the subway with your information in it in hopes a good citizen will return it to you. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. This week Hollywood delivers the touching story of a woman trying to find someone to connect with in this crazy, crazy world with the release of Greta. Does Greta have the right personality to become our B.F.F. or is she destined to become our frenemy? There is only one way to find out my friends, so read on or in the box you go. Continue reading “Movie Review: Greta”

Netflix Review: He’s Out There

Simple Review: And he brought a bad script with him!

What would my life be like without Netflix? Instead of doing something as productive as starting a new hobby like knitting with dog hair, reading a classic work of literature such as Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets or silently weeping as I ponder on the loneliness of my life, I scroll through the endless list of movies that my friend Netflix has to offer. Sometimes Netflix delivers a quality piece of entertainment that leaves me satisfied with my choice. Most of the time, however, Netflix only serves to make me regret wasting what little time I have left on this blue rock floating through the cosmos. This review will center on a horror movie I discovered after 90 minutes of scrolling through choices, called He’s Out There. This isn’t a Netflix original, but it was on my favorite streaming service, so don’t get all technical with me about calling this a Netflix review. Remember how much you paid me for this review! Continue reading “Netflix Review: He’s Out There”

Movie Review: Happy Death Day 2U

Simple Review: A pleasant surprise party

Sometimes a movie comes along that is like eating at your favorite fast food restaurant, you know it isn’t five-star cuisine but it makes your tummy happy while you eat it. Happy Death Day was such a movie for me. I went into it with doubt it would be good, but curious about what they would do with the premise and much to my surprise I had a good time watching it. Sure the movie was far from perfect but it had an excellent lead acting performance and the filmmakers had fun with the Groundhog Day meets a horror movie plot. When the sequel was announced I rolled my eyes at what seemed to be a quick cash grab, but I admit I was curious to see what they could possibly do to follow up the first film. Does Happy Death Day 2U deliver a worthy continuation of the story or does it ruin the party by binge drinking and throwing up birthday cake on your new couch? Grab your last minute present, light them candles and let’s try to throw a big ole surprise party for this silly review! Continue reading “Movie Review: Happy Death Day 2U”